Box now offers Quantum Sharing – the easiest way to share your files across space and time! Your files exist at every point in space-time, whether you remember creating them in this universe or not. Take advantage of Quantum Sharing today and download files you’ve only just thought of creating.
Collaborate across space-time and permanently alter the course of history! Send a message to Past You or assign a task that could redefine your (work) life.* Wish you’d had that project plan for the new ad campaign your manager wanted three days before she even asked? No problem! Simply create it, assign yourself a Change History task and set the due date for three days before the request was made. Multi-Dimensional Workflow will change your life!**
*Box does not accept responsibility for actions, comments or tasks that may or may not create paradoxes that may or may not render your present self irrelevant and superfluous. Use Multi-Dimensional Workflow feature wisely.
**And, potentially, your appearance, relationships, and socioeconomic status.
Simply use the new, improved search with added Schrödinger functionality to find the file and look in the folder – it may be there, it may not.*
*Personal accounts are subject to the possibility of collapsed files. Users accept full responsibility for the state in which their file appears upon looking in the folder. Personal users may upgrade to Quantum Sharing with MWI, available on Business accounts, which secures perpetual existence of the file at some point in space-time. Users who do not see their files upon observation may refresh until the file arrives at the same point in space-time as the user.
**Hitting refresh repeatedly may cause a rift in space-time, trapping you and your desk in an infinite loop, during which you incessantly refresh and your file never appears. Please refresh with caution to avoid irregularities.
***Box is not responsible for any irregularities that may occur through the use of Schrödinger Search or any and all related Quantum Sharing features.
Who needs WiFi when you can have QiFi? Our proprietary QiFi connection operates on waves across dimensions and states. If the frequency you’ve been using collapses, our servers will reroute you to one in an uncollapsed state, so you can keep working!*
To really achieve maximum QiFi potential, set up your very own Quantum Singularity – in your living room, dining room, home office or bedroom. Contact Box to purchase a Quantum Singularity today!
*In the event of a collapsed frequency, you may be required to shift to a parallel universe to continue working on QiFi. To avoid micro-irregularities and unnecessary dimensional splitting, Box recommends that you operate on WiFi whenever available and limit QiFi use to extreme circumstances only.
Linear History Collapser (LHC)
The Linear History Collapser, or LHC, is the new, improved trash bin, available exclusively with Quantum Sharing. The LHC will not only destroy a file, but it will also destroy any evidence of that file in comments, tasks, history and even people’s memories! You’ll be able to completely eradicate that embarrassing photo from last year’s Christmas party – and any trace that it even existed.
Remember to use the LHC with caution. Files dumped in the LHC are irretrievable – or are they? (You’ll have to check the LHC.)*
*Looking in the LHC may create microsingularities in the cosmos. User accepts full responsibility for the creation of Black Holes and/or implosion of solar systems. Box is not liable for any destruction incurred by a user opening the LHC, including, but not limited to, the elimination of yet-undiscovered extraterrestrial species and/or entire galaxies.